BUT - i had a big cog today on all of this and i guess the most important thing is that we LEARN from things, both good and bad. i looked at the comm i put out and then i looked at what type of comm tommy put out and i noticed there was far too much similarity between those two things for my own comfort. it was almost scarry but that kind of person (name hurling, ranting, overwhelming, angry, self righteous, authoritarian, etc.) is the last kind of person i ever wanted to be But alas what you resist you become. ha ha. i realized it does not matter what another being does, one has no right to judge another. none of tommy's actions were or are mine to judge. i am not even connected to him. i have never met him. he simply gave the same reaction that anyone would give who was trying to be right. each of us has our own path and our own conseqences for our actions. and in the long run, ron once said, if one does not put his own ethics in, life and the mest universe will put them in for us so we never really have to fight anyone if we are practicing true pan determinism. this lifetime my whole purpose and goal has been to help others and to better myself. in that order. i had part one of the cog earlier today about how most people were very self centered into their own universes these days, including most asuredly myself and then bam - part two just hit me like a lightening bolt. i guess things DO happen for a reason sometimes. it was a great lesson for me. at first i was annoyed and perturbed by all of it. but now i am glad it all happened exactly as it did because i realized that tommy's reaction was just a reflection of a reaction that i did not like in myself. it was like seeing myself react. it made me see a something in me that i was not very happy with and which was very hard for me to confront. then blam a NOTs win. ok, enough, i feel like i am at the examiner all over again. sometimes it is hard to look at oneself. that is the hardest part of getting up the actual bridge. to me, not what is done to one but what one dramatizes and does to others. :))) sometimes we critisize others for qualities we actually detest in himself. as richard bach said in illusions - we often teach the lessons we ourselves most need to learn. i am line charging.