O.K., I came into Scientology in worse condition than you, believe me there but this is not the time. It took me hundreds of hours to go Clear and I did it by accident on a drug rundown. Believe me, my havingness was not high enough to have "clear" as a target. I only hoped to not go insane in my life.

 

I knew of clears and ots and tried to skim information from them as to their world..the real info. The real deal. I could not get it. It was uncomforting. So I am here to tell all on this list...to yell down the hill now that I am clear and working on the OT levels.  I am going to to tell you the real deal for me.

 

I had hoped through what I had read and my ideas that I would never experience pain or even my heart after clear. I had hoped that clear would build a wall between me and feelings. Me and love. Me and a lot of things. I had hoped that Scientology would evelvate me to a position of never effect and never grow up and whimsical joy uninterupted.

 

Well, here's the real from ME I say.

 

Going clear and OT so far...I love my kids more than ever. I love puppy dogs and frogs. I love apple pie and America. more than ever. I even love my mother. It's not what I hoped for at all. I am not a robot with pure analictical thought like spok. I am not. It's not been at all what I thought.

 

I am in love, even more than before. I can see the genuine validity, of all we have done. There is nothing here I care to invalidate. More than ever, I am spellbound by grimm fairytails, pianos, puppydogs and weeping willows.

 

More than ever I am glad.

 

And that is what getting there has been for me honestly. And there hasn't been anything else more important. And I just wanted to share that. Love, To Be Me