I started Scientology 26 years ago. I accomplished
quite a bit in the first 6 or 7 years but the last
decade and a half haven't been stellar. On the other
hand, as I told Ralph between sessions, after OTIII
the cognitions never really stopped, so if anyone had
said that I was "off the bridge" I certainly would not
have shared his or her opinion.

Ironically, it was in an audited NOTS session some 20
years ago, that I decided I could have a family and do
Scientology. Seems like it just wasn't happening
though. After visiting the FZAO in Austria, I believe
I will be able to finish the bridge, even the optional
pieces. In Ralph I found a wide ranging and
fundamental grasp of Scientology Technology, a
commitment to deliver it standardly, and I found a
better computer technician than me - unfortunately.
(It stressed my considerable self-esteem.)

It was interesting to pick up the cans and start up
right where I left off more than a decade ago. Of
course Ralph had me pretty well sorted out in the
first half hour, then it was hard to get any chair
time in because of those pesky F/Ns. All told we only
got 3 hrs in over a 2-day period. Of course the gaps
were filled in with conversations that were almost as
interesting as the auditing.

I have mixed feelings about the church. I've been
rooting for it for so long that I'm kind of sad to let
go. On the other hand, I've always had more interest
in the technology of Scientology rather than in its
means of propagation. I guess as long as the church
runs a scarcity racket on auditing and keeps declaring
people on political rather than technical grounds they
are just going to do a create on the FZ and me a favor
in the process.

So, to all of you on the list that haven't said a word
yet. (most). Lets hear from you, private or public. I
stuck my toe in the water and it's just fine.

And to Ralph: Hey, we knocked something loose, I
exteriorized yesterday morning as I was waking up, not
for long and not much control - but I enjoyed the hell
out of it!

M