seemed like a good line to start a story and it is true.

I ran into a churchie who I used to hang out with. Funny, I seem
to "run into" this guy about twice a year since I quit. We always
chat about what's going on. I am always interested in his progress
on the bridge and how our local mission is doing. Actually, he has
pretty much abandoned our mission and always goes out of town for
auditing, once to Mexico because it's cheaper by the peso. He always
wants to get me back into the church. He is so sincere, and I have
always withheld that I am doing scio outside the church. But finally
this time, I decided to tell him and see what happens. Ha ha, he
took it OK, (a gave it in a very smooth manner, designed to have the
least impact against his reality.) But, he still wants me back in
the church, and is "worried" about the quality of auditing I am
receiving. Ah well, I did nothing to try to turn him, though I felt
the urge to. He has no idea the full history of the church and tech.
He doesn't know who owns the church, doesn't know about the fair
game activities, doesn't know the about the mass exodus of top tech
terminals in the 80's. He believes all the doctored statistics that
are reported and thinks the church is expanding nicely and actually
clearing the planet. But, he has been winning in auditing
apparently, I could see that, and that's the real measuring cup for
anyone. So here we are 2 guys both winning with what they are doing,
both thinking the other is wrong. Actually, I am OK with him staying
in church, though the fact that in the last 3 years, I have done all
my grades and OT levels through VII, have had the opportunity to
talk with people who actually worked with Hubbard, and many other
old timers, and am half way through my grade 0 training being C/Sup-
ed by a Hubbard trained class 8, and he has only done some repair
auditing (mostly to repair past auditing he had in the church) makes
me sad for him, because I think we are both putting about the same
effort into it. Anyway, I've planted the seed. I didn't go into any
the things I just mentioned, I didn't want to overwhelm him. I just
said I had received auditing from a class XII and it was good, and
that I also had a comm line with an auditor who had trained under
LRH in the class 8 course. Just enough to let him know the tech is
out there, so when and if the day comes that he starts to feel the
push back that he's not getting where he wants to go in the church,
there might be someplace else he can go and not have to put up with
their SHIT. I have been wanting to do this for him since the first
time I spoke with him after I left. But I wanted to make sure of
what I was doing first and also don't want a bunch of churcies
bothering me about what I'm doing. BTW, if they do, I will not be so
diplomatic with them, ha ha.

The personal conflict I still have with myself is that 90% of the
people in the church are just great people. They just overlook the
outpoints because the tech works and they know on a basic theta
level it work even more than they've seen. I could give a shit about
if the Official Church of Scientology goes on forever. It is still
for people who want their hands held. My problem with the church is
their suppression of people who want to practice the religion of
Scientology on their own. I also don't like the fact that their
behavior has given the tech and Ron a bad name with everyone, but
people who are doing Scientology. I don't know what the route is to
relieve the suppression, or if it is possible to do at all without
destroying the Church.

I have to admit, I sort of like the style of bridge we practice in
the freezone, it is sort of clandestine, we are doing it under the
suppression of the big bad mean people. I have to travel to far away
places to have one-on-one sessions with secret tech masters who are
wary of who I am until they get to know me. And we know we are the
only ones who are really doing it, and we are carrying on the true
legacy of the original master. And then then there's all the mystery
of what's beyond OT VIII and how to get to full OT. Are there hidden
levels by Ron? Does Ron's Excalibur book contain the final path? Is
Ron's Org's upper bridge the rest of the way? Not wholesale, get
those bodies up the bridge, ok form line people, approach.

BTW, I'm doing well on my grade 0 course. I'm taking a little break
for some Christmas time with my family, (which includes my daughter,
my ex-wife and a surf-board, strange combo, no?) oh, shit, stat's
will be down, my freezone courseroom, may not win the birthday game
this year! Back to the subject I started, I don't have ADD, I'm free
to direct my attention. I'm really looking forward to auditing
another and seeing the results. It is so true that training raises
your abilities and gives one a better understanding of life. I'm
sure that actually auditing another will just increase that
exponentially as well. I am very stoked about just training through
grade IV and then NED. That is my goal for this year (2004).

Uh, sorry for the long post, but if you made it this far, thanks for
reading!

Happy Holidays fellow wizards,
y